This is not the first time it started like this, in fact for the past month; it had been the same way. I woke up in my bed, not wanting to leave it, but had to, or else, who would do the project? Every day, I dragged myself to the bathroom from my room, and brushed my teeth. And after refreshing, I would go Satpura for breakfast, the only thing about that hostel that I liked. It was a pity that Kumaon people had to travel so much to go just have food. And because of this reason, most of the Kumaon people actually didn’t go for food there. As a result, they spent more on their food outside and it resulted, in turn, on their economic condition, with people’s backs aching under the burden of borrows and loans from friends and foes. And so, this day kick started just as it should have.
Of course, until it happened.
I know that a blog is a personal space and there is no reason for any blogger to fear of the repercussions a blog entry can make because he holds the rights to them all. And so, I think it is justified to write it all here, all my feelings and how I felt that day after what happened. But still, I know that many people read this and it may hurt their feelings. But, let them go to hell. So, here is how it unfolded.
I wanted to go to heaven and soak in the pool of cold water, with sunglow, not sunlight, soothing my skin from above. I wanted to come out of the pool, drenched with energy, full with joy and with love. The heaven seemed to open up itself for me,
taking me into its arms and with a lot of relief, it wanted to hug me, and care for me. I felt like the child of god, the man of unlimited power. And it all will remain the same for an eternity. The sky was golden, though it was not yet dark. The clouds were playing hide and seek under the shadow of the mother cloud. So, it was easy to look into the sky. The orangish glow seeped through my eyes to my soul, enriching it with beautiful thoughts, motivation and enthusiasm. It felt like a child just born and taken in to the abyss. It felt like a journey to heaven.
It was never a feeling of guilt that filled me when I was emotional; it was a feeling of regret. It was a sense of desire, which made me feel as if I ever had to do anything; it has to be before the emotions faded away. And believe me when I say that those moments are very brief. The orange clouds rush in the air, fighting to get ahead of each other. And the one who was first was the one who appeared to be the leader, the smiling god, who showered his godliness onto me. I would soak in the affection it showed to me, just by being there and lie there forever, looking at it and obtaining my freshness from it. It was amazing.
This seemed a true difference between hell and heaven. Heaven was here. Hell was everywhere except here. This is a biased judgment, completely biased, but with this much happiness inside you, you often end up making overstatements. I made these mistakes too, but never paid for them. And I am hopeful that I never will either.
The love of the orange clouds makes me feel loved and give me the power and the reason to love. And this makes me happy, this is the feeling that makes me complete.
Of course, until it happened.
I know that a blog is a personal space and there is no reason for any blogger to fear of the repercussions a blog entry can make because he holds the rights to them all. And so, I think it is justified to write it all here, all my feelings and how I felt that day after what happened. But still, I know that many people read this and it may hurt their feelings. But, let them go to hell. So, here is how it unfolded.
I wanted to go to heaven and soak in the pool of cold water, with sunglow, not sunlight, soothing my skin from above. I wanted to come out of the pool, drenched with energy, full with joy and with love. The heaven seemed to open up itself for me,
taking me into its arms and with a lot of relief, it wanted to hug me, and care for me. I felt like the child of god, the man of unlimited power. And it all will remain the same for an eternity. The sky was golden, though it was not yet dark. The clouds were playing hide and seek under the shadow of the mother cloud. So, it was easy to look into the sky. The orangish glow seeped through my eyes to my soul, enriching it with beautiful thoughts, motivation and enthusiasm. It felt like a child just born and taken in to the abyss. It felt like a journey to heaven.
It was never a feeling of guilt that filled me when I was emotional; it was a feeling of regret. It was a sense of desire, which made me feel as if I ever had to do anything; it has to be before the emotions faded away. And believe me when I say that those moments are very brief. The orange clouds rush in the air, fighting to get ahead of each other. And the one who was first was the one who appeared to be the leader, the smiling god, who showered his godliness onto me. I would soak in the affection it showed to me, just by being there and lie there forever, looking at it and obtaining my freshness from it. It was amazing.
This seemed a true difference between hell and heaven. Heaven was here. Hell was everywhere except here. This is a biased judgment, completely biased, but with this much happiness inside you, you often end up making overstatements. I made these mistakes too, but never paid for them. And I am hopeful that I never will either.
The love of the orange clouds makes me feel loved and give me the power and the reason to love. And this makes me happy, this is the feeling that makes me complete.
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