Medulla Hallucinata

I am real or am I not? The sunshine that warms my skin in my dreams seems so much more real than the cages we live in when we are awake. Time has a voice and it speaks, in words harsher than anyone I have talked to. I cannot undo things I have done or have been done, they are coagulating in the jar like honey. I will have to sacrifice a spoon or my hand to take some out while the left overs take time to coagulate again to regain the flat surface. I think it is time to unplug the machine.

A while ago, I do not remember how long ago, I had a dream of taking a flight of stairs, made of concrete, on an endless mountain. I am afraid it might not be a dream at all, but a memory of some childhood experience at a temple, but I do not know. It makes me feel insecure that there is a story in my head, something I can relate to, but I do not know if it was real. Shall I choose to accept it as it is, allow the limitations of my brains to dictate this uncertainty in my life? 

Recently, I saw a horror movie in a theatre, of a ghost of a small child brought back from the dead by her parents by worshipping satan. i am not sure if satan exists or if it possible at all and hence I have decided that this is just fiction, not some real-life story that other movies are made on. But, some part of my head knows that is such a thing did exist, it would freak me out. All my assumptions and beliefs in my life will be shattered. So, I am not afraid of the ghost showing up when I open my eyes in the shower after rinsing my face, but of my world shaking up if such a thing did happen. The ghost can kill me, I would suggest it rather should because it would be too difficult to make back the world up from the ground if it does get shattered due to its existence.



Also, recently I finished a major book from Isaac Asimov, an author I admire dearly and sincerely, for the leaps of imagination he took and has inspired me to hope for a better world. Caves of Steel was one of the very first books about robotics that he wrote and after having read the entire Foundation series and some books in the Robot series, I had to read this. I was amazed on how the truth could be right in front of us the whole time, but is not visible. Isn't that truly magical, the possibility of obvious things being so difficult to understand and when you do, it is too difficult to forgive yourself for not having done so earlier.

Dyson sphere is an interesting thing. A spherical solar panel, that can encapsulate an entire star and absorb all of its energy, powering an entire civilisation. I have been discussing it with a few people, but they do not seem interested. I see potential here, not of its execution or its creation, but the mere thought of solving such a huge problem can inspire us to solve our little problems. I see on one hand, we have a commercially successful movie terrifying people in theatres, on the other hand I see an author describing what can be called a hopeful future for humanity. The former asks us to look for demons within our mind, the fear of being wronged or being hurt. The latter asks us to look beyond our own lives, look for a greater solution to all our problems. Can you create sections in your head to process each of these ideas independently, or should you try to find a pattern to narrow down your interpretation of the world you live in and the mind you live with? Should you give up and conclude the world is entirely random, and so is your mind? Shall you question the intentions of the human mind? Is it survival? Is it vanity? Is it exploration?

This mind if nothing without the body and the body is nothing without the mind. However, this is not a symbiotic relationship. Body is the slave, mind is the master. The master always knows more.





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